- Hair Pulling.... Our first two days home Maddyx was literally pulling his own hair out. As he cried, he would take his hand and rip the hair out of the back of his head. It was so hard to watch. He mainly did it when it was bedtime and he was grieving. There was absolutely nothing we could do to stop him and I knew this was his way of trying to soothe himself, so we had to let him do it. No matter how hard that was.
- Head Rocking..... Along with pulling his hair he also rocked his head back and forth. The first couple of nights it was excessive and fast. I was actually really worried that there was something wrong with him. Until I figured out it was just another method he was using to try and soothe himself. So he was pulling his hair out, and rocking his head back and forth at the same time. Absolutely heart-breaking. And very scary for a first-time parent. Let me tell you.
The truth is, this is not easy. Even when you have a baby that is easy-going and pretty happy most of the time, as we do. This is still a brand new little person in your life that is used to someone else's parenting style, and a whole other life for that matter. I am a 30-something, first time parent, and learning as I go. I've become and instant Mom to a one year old who just met me a little over a week ago. I have moments of pure joy and others of complete dismay. My husband told me two nights after we returned home from Seoul with Maddyx, that I've cried more in the last week than I have in the last 10 years we've been together. Does that tell you anything? You're learning all about this new little life and yourself all at once. It's a life-changing experience that forces you to dig deep within your depths to find your truth. Not always pretty, but it is YOUR truth. These are the moments that define us and we must learn from each moment, both good and bad.
Thanks for letting me share. I think I just needed to use this blog as a journal today. Appreciate you listening.