Happy 1st Birthday Maddyx!

Today, July 25th, 2010, our son turned one!  On this day, one year ago we became parents to a beautiful Korean boy.  Our lives have forever been changed and we are thankful for this. 

Maddyx, we cannot wait to hold you in our arms and hear the sound of your sweet laugh.  Until then, you rest in our hearts and will remain there forevermore.  We celebrate the beauty of your life today.  We also send loving thoughts to your birth mother as we are deeply sorry for the sadness and loss that she has experienced.  On this day we thank her for the gift of life that she has given us.  

KISSES IN THE WIND (The Waiting Child's Lullaby)
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
--- © Pamela Durkota, written for Josh

Birthday care package sent to Korea

We also sent a letter to the Foster Family written in Korean! Thank you to our wonderful friend who helped us with this! 

We had a birthday celebration dinner at a local Korean BBQ. Yum!

Look at this adorable gift tag our friend Annie made!

Birthday gifts waiting at home for the Birthday Boy!  The hat is actually mine, but I'll share it!

Wait, I do have an update! Good News & Pics!

OK, so no sooner than I published my last post I received an email from our agency. Two parts - first, new pictures attached!!!! Second, our EP (exit permit) has been filed and we should "expect to travel in the next four weeks, or so" (exact words)!!!! Wooohhooooo!! So now we just wait to hear that his EP has been approved. Fingers crossed for this to be within the next 5 days (PLEASE!!). What a great way to start the weekend! So, without further adieu, here are some pictures of Maddyx at 11 months. I cannot believe how big he is. He's gone from the look of a baby to the look of a toddler since the last we saw him.

Update on the Adoption....

OK, so let me start this post by saying, did I really just eat pork chops for breakfast?!? Why, yes I did! Is this part of adoption pregnancy? I mean really? Oh well, it is Friday and I am about 7 mos pregnant with a 30lb son from Korea! I think I'm going to allow myself this pleasure.

Now, on to my update. I'm sure you're all wondering where we're at with the adoption. Well, unfortunately I don't have much new news. I did call our agency yesterday to see if I could get something out of them, but as usual their response was "there is nothing new to report." We are still waiting to get word that Maddyx's EP (exit permit) has been submitted. I thought we would have been submitted by now, but apparently it could be another 2-4 weeks before this happens. Once the EP is submitted we wait for approval (possibly a week after submittal, give or take) and then from there we wait for the Travel Call. According to our agency that is about 4-6 weeks after the EP is approved. The only sort of timeline info they could give me is that they are consistently seeing that the total wait time from the time your referral is 'officially' accepted (received in Korea), to the time you travel to get your baby is about 8 months. Where does that leave us? Well, we received our referral on January 14th, however Korea did not officially receive the acceptance paperwork until the first week of February. So, if I'm following the 8 month time table we could be traveling some time around the end of September, beginning of October. Kind of a bummer since I had the end of August beginning of September stuck in my head. Oh well, what can you do! Absolutely nothing. Except be patient and accepting of "what is."

On another note, Maddyx turns 1 this Sunday!! I cannot believe it. I'm not going to delve into this today as I plan to dedicate an entire post to this on his actual Birthday. Stay tuned...

Lastly, but definitely not least, I want to tell my blog friend Michelle that I am so happy that her and her hubby have FINALLY received their Travel Call and are leaving for Korea to get their son on Wednesday!!!!!!!! Yaaay, so excited for them!!

I'll leave you with some old photos of Maddyx from April when he was 9 months! Just to reminisce. I'm hoping that we'll be receiving some updated video and photos very soon since our agency was just over visiting. Happy Friday and have a great weekend All!

Dedicated to Tawnie, Our Angel Above.......

Since starting this blog a couple of months ago I have tried to write this post many times, but always found myself at a loss for words. This is by far one of the hardest, yet most important blog posts that I will have to write. This post is dedicated to my best friend and my husband's adopted sister from South Korea, Tawnie.

Tawnie, my best friend, my sister-in-law, and my beautiful Angel above, we lost you too soon, but I have to believe that your time here with us, on earth, was over at the exact moment it was meant to be. You are the reason that Kasey and I are in the very place we are today. Had it not been for you and I meeting 13 years ago at the Estee Lauder counter in Rob-May, and becoming the best of friends, I would have never met your brother, the love of my life, and would not be adopting our beautiful son from Korea. The truth is, before you, my heart was not open to adoption. I never believed I could truly love a child that I didn't give birth to. Boy, was I wrong. I know this now. Knowing you, knowing your family, knowing your story of being adopted from South Korea, and knowing what a beautiful, loving, smart, funny, corky, generous spirit you were, and how much joy you brought to so many lives around you, made me realize that I COULD adopt and love a child just the same as one I carried for nine months. I didn't realize this until you were gone. Your spirit has given me the courage to take this leap into the unknown, and has also provided me with such a sense of peace while doing so.

I have no doubt that your hand has been guiding us through each of these moments. When I had doubts I asked for guidance. How would I know if the child we received the referral for was the child that was meant for us? Do I just trust that whatever child comes to us is the one that's meant to be with us? I really struggled with this. I mean, I REALLY struggled. It's not like being pregnant and not having a choice. Meaning, when you're pregnant you get what you get. In adoption you actually are given a choice, and that was so hard for me. At the time of the referral you receive a file that contains the babies medical history, a couple of photos and any info they have on the birth parents. You're to review these documents and also have your pediatrician review. From there you make your choice. Choice, really?!?! How do I know what to do in this moment?? Listen to my gut? Well my gut, my mind, my emotions and everything else are in a state of excitement, elation, fear, nervousness and every other emotion there is! At least mine were. That being said, I. REALLY. NEEDED. A. SIGN! But what sort of sign would I, could I, receive? Well lets rewind about 6 1/2 months.....Kasey and I were celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary on January 13th (which is also Tawnie's birthday) and we said, "how amazing would it be if we received our referral today, on TT's (Tawnie's) birthday and our 5 year wedding anniversary? " Not thinking that would ever happen in a million years. So, we enjoyed a wonderful night out and did not receive a referral. Bummer. That really would have been amazing. However, about 9:30 the following morning I received THE CALL. Yes, it was Regina from our adoption agency telling me that she had a baby for us! Are you kidding me right now?!?! I mean, it's literally 9:30 the morning after your birthday. OK, that's a pretty strong sign! Thank you....thank you....thank you!! But, you know me too well, TT. There was still a very small part of me that wanted to be sure that this baby was THE ONE. So, of course, I called Shannon, (our other best friend) to share the news. "We got our referral!!! Whooohoooo!!!" Then, as we were talking it hits me that Maddyx's birthday was in July and Shannon gave birth to her first baby girl in July of last year too. I say to Shannon, " what is KK's exact birthday in July, because Maddyx was born in July too?" Well, what she said next almost blew my mind. KK was born on 7/25/09, which was the exact same day as our son! OK, I get the point, TT! Loud and clear! He's ours... meant for us... no doubt about it! Enough said....decision made! YES, HE'S OUR SON!!!!

So my heart knows that our son Maddyx has been hand selected by you, and through him, through our love for him, through our love for each other and through our love for you, your spirit lives on.

Thank you for everything you have given me. You and I were meant to be a part of each other's lives and you were meant to bring me together with your brother, my now husband, and our son Maddyx through adoption. You will never be forgotten. You will forever live on in our hearts. I wish you were here today to be a part of all of this with us. Maddyx would have loved you so much. What a connection the two of you would have had. We will share your story and pictures with him and I can only hope that he turns out to be half the person you were.

We LOVE you TT.

What we've been up to & Quote for the day.....

So although I don't have any updates on the adoption front, I can tell you what we've been up to in the last few weeks. For starters, Kasey and I decided to take advantage of our last few months before baby, and ran away for a long weekend up to Carmel-by-the-Sea and Monterey. I have to say, if I'm being completely honest, that I am a bit sad that our fly by the seat of our pants, completely free lifestyle is coming to an end. However, the benefits (our beautiful baby boy, Maddyx) far out way the sadness! While in Carmel/Monterey we had absolutely gorgeous weather, great food and some much needed R&R! Our days consisted of waking up, eating, lounging in the sun, eating again, taking a nap, showering, eating some more and enjoying some great wine (for me, of course!) and beer (Kasey)! Sounds awful doesn't it? We returned home for just a couple of weeks and then got back on the road for a 5 day trip to Bryce Canyon, Utah for 4th of July with Kasey's family. We borrowed our friend's RV (thanks again!) and took off, with the dog, on 12 hour road trip! Now we're back home, back to work, and back to reality! This is it for us until our BIG trip (actually the biggest, most important, trip of our lives) to Korea to get our son! I'm wondering, is it to early to start packing?!?! Anyway, here are a few photos from our trip up north....

Oh, and I'm overdue for a quote. This one is from the book, The Way of Mastery...... If you're in need of an inspirational read to get you focused and on the right path, I would highly recommend this book.

"Love embraces all things, allows all things, trusts all things and therefore transcends all things....."