a very special day

I can't believe it's taken me almost three weeks to get this post up! I'm a very bad blogger. Bad, bad blogger. I'm trying to do better but the universe is working against me lately, I tell you. Internet problems, blogger problems (you have no idea!), blackberry problems, flat tire, head cold (maddyx, and then me), need I go on? But we're all back on track now and everything is great!

So on to the good stuff. We were so excited to find out that Maddyx's foster mother, the director from ESWS and a couple of other women were going to be in Los Angeles for a short visit. We made arrangements to drive up to see them the evening before they got on their flight back to Korea.

I had so many thoughts run through my head when I knew we were going to see the women who raised Maddyx for the first year of his life. Will he remember her? Will he think she's Mama? Will he be sad to leave her? Will he be confused? I just didn't know what to expect from him during this visit. What I did know is that I was beyond thrilled to give the amazing women who raised our son for the first year of his life the opportunity to see what an amazing little boy he's become, and also see just how happy we are to be a family. The last time we saw her we were scared, sad, insecure and totally unsure of what the future held for us. We were in a foreign country and about to take a 13 month old baby away from the only life he ever knew. What a difference 10 months makes!

To prepare for our visit we spent some time looking at Maddyx's memory album with his foster family. It almost brings me to tears looking at him taking in the pictures. I just wonder what goes through their little mind?

 To prepare for our visit we spent some time looking at maddyx's memory album with his foster family. From Drop Box  From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box Are you ready to go, Maddyx?  Yep, I'm ready Mama - let's go! From Drop Box Hanging with Dad while we wait at the hotel for Foster Mom From Drop Box From Drop Box Maddyx is clearly done with picture time From Drop Box And we got a balloon at dinner.  Gotta love Red Robin! From Drop Box Whose bright idea was it to tie this balloon to the camera case?!?! From Drop Box Maddyx, look who's here!! From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box And he's off............... From Drop Box Whatchya got there??  oooh bubble wrap.... From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box From Drop Box Alright - me and my balloon are outta here.

The visit was absolutely wonderful. These women are amazing. What they do for these children is beyond what I can express in words. They love and care for these children with every ounce of their souls, only to have their hearts broken time and time again as they place them in the hands of their families. They are Angels.

My heart went out to his foster mother. I know what a strong bond they had the last time she held him in her arms, and I'm sure as happy as she was to see him settled into his family, it had to be hard to have lost that bond that she had with him. She cried a lot. Mostly tears of joy, and some were tears of sadness. I promised her that we would never let him forget her and we would always stay in touch. And we will. As she helped us load him into the car to prepare for our drive home I could see the pain in her eyes as the tears streamed down her face. She did not want to let him go. She loved him so deeply, and still does. As sad as I was for her to see him go, I was also secretly happy that he knew I was his Mama. He didn't cry for her as we left because he knew he was home. And this time as we drove off looking back at foster mom, there was no fear, no insecurity, and we knew what the future held. Again, what a difference 10 months makes!